The next part of my journey will touch upon an area that I believe many struggle with, and that is the need and desire of godly mothers and/or fathers in our faith walk. I have had a few that I actually felt like they could fill that role and I will share each of these cases with you, as I believe it may help you see areas in yourself in need of some correction.
So, when I was attending a small church in Odessa, we had a charismatic couple come in both in arts and worship. I was drawn to the sweet and gentle ways of the woman and soon joined in as part of the worship team. I shared with her how I saw her as a Spiritual mother. The reaction was one of discomfort and yet acknowledged. I wasn't sure what I was expecting from her, but I was disillusioned. As time went on they both left the church due to the belief that God had led them to make that decision. The only reason I share this is for those that may find themselves looking to a spiritual mother and being hurt by the lack of them meeting our own self imposed standards, and that is a dangerous way to live our lives.
The second figure(s) I gleaned from were those ladies in ministry. I was in love with Joyce Meyer and her rawness of truth and life application. I taught Sunday school and the pastor's wife would jokingly call me the next Joyce! Cindy Jacobs, was one I just had found through the meeting mentioned in my former post and I absolutely thought this was the model I was going to follow! Then I found Patricia King, an older woman with an edgy look and soft spoken ways. I loved how she loved people on the streets and helped to reach out to women found in prostitution. I have been a participant at Women of Joy in San Antonio with a lovely group of ladies and have always received encouragement at these meetings. I found many ladies and started following them on social media,etc., but one thing always remained on my heart and it was this memory. Many years back I had volunteered to work a Joyce Meyer conference. I helped the band at their table and it was awesome! The following day I helped at Joyce's table selling her message CD's. So, as I am sure you could guess, I was excitingly hoping we would get to meet Joyce. After all, we had volunteered and there was only about 15 or so of us it wouldn't require much time. To be honest I have never vocalized or mentioned this until now because I now see the errors in these moments. So as we gathered to pray as a whole group before the meetings, they shared that she would like to tell us thank you and we received a gift coupon towards a purchase. Nice, right? I mean I was going to buy something anyhow, so that would just make my spending a bit less damaging. I came home justifying the lack of her approaching us and acknowledging those giving their time to work the meeting to my family that questioned it. She was busy and how could we expect that to happen, I was good. I have a few other stories like that from these ladies in ministry but my goal is not to point to that necessarily, but to the danger of allowing our hearts to get swept up in these ministers. They are after all, human and with that comes much baggage and failures. We must stop making them gods and worse, idolizing them.
Why does this matter? In my personal walk, the lack of a godly mother figure has caused many voids. I have flip flopped in my emotions and also in my choices. Where are the god fearing women in the world today? That is what began my addiction to theses conferences- seeking a woman or person to meet these spiritual needs.
So, when I was attending a small church in Odessa, we had a charismatic couple come in both in arts and worship. I was drawn to the sweet and gentle ways of the woman and soon joined in as part of the worship team. I shared with her how I saw her as a Spiritual mother. The reaction was one of discomfort and yet acknowledged. I wasn't sure what I was expecting from her, but I was disillusioned. As time went on they both left the church due to the belief that God had led them to make that decision. The only reason I share this is for those that may find themselves looking to a spiritual mother and being hurt by the lack of them meeting our own self imposed standards, and that is a dangerous way to live our lives.
The second figure(s) I gleaned from were those ladies in ministry. I was in love with Joyce Meyer and her rawness of truth and life application. I taught Sunday school and the pastor's wife would jokingly call me the next Joyce! Cindy Jacobs, was one I just had found through the meeting mentioned in my former post and I absolutely thought this was the model I was going to follow! Then I found Patricia King, an older woman with an edgy look and soft spoken ways. I loved how she loved people on the streets and helped to reach out to women found in prostitution. I have been a participant at Women of Joy in San Antonio with a lovely group of ladies and have always received encouragement at these meetings. I found many ladies and started following them on social media,etc., but one thing always remained on my heart and it was this memory. Many years back I had volunteered to work a Joyce Meyer conference. I helped the band at their table and it was awesome! The following day I helped at Joyce's table selling her message CD's. So, as I am sure you could guess, I was excitingly hoping we would get to meet Joyce. After all, we had volunteered and there was only about 15 or so of us it wouldn't require much time. To be honest I have never vocalized or mentioned this until now because I now see the errors in these moments. So as we gathered to pray as a whole group before the meetings, they shared that she would like to tell us thank you and we received a gift coupon towards a purchase. Nice, right? I mean I was going to buy something anyhow, so that would just make my spending a bit less damaging. I came home justifying the lack of her approaching us and acknowledging those giving their time to work the meeting to my family that questioned it. She was busy and how could we expect that to happen, I was good. I have a few other stories like that from these ladies in ministry but my goal is not to point to that necessarily, but to the danger of allowing our hearts to get swept up in these ministers. They are after all, human and with that comes much baggage and failures. We must stop making them gods and worse, idolizing them.
Why does this matter? In my personal walk, the lack of a godly mother figure has caused many voids. I have flip flopped in my emotions and also in my choices. Where are the god fearing women in the world today? That is what began my addiction to theses conferences- seeking a woman or person to meet these spiritual needs.
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