We all know and understand the emotional high we get when we are told that all of our pain and struggle has a purpose and not only that, but it is our right to declare or even go "take it by force". You know, all those things the devil stole from us. Well, I was searching and wanting to find another meeting or conference where I could learn how to work this thing out. I had just been told from another godly mother figure at our small church, that she felt the holy spirit told her I should leave that church and go find a place for me and my boys. I will not delve into the emotional upheaval that situation brought my heart, not only towards this entire meeting and the people who stood by and allowed such a thing, but more so towards those in a pastoral father position. The "shepherds" of the flock. The purpose is to understand that when we are so eager to find a fix, we fall into a dangerous place for anything that sounds good to be set of rose colored glasses we look...

The next part of my journey will touch upon an area that I believe many struggle with, and that is the need and desire of godly mothers and/or fathers in our faith walk. I have had a few that I actually felt like they could fill that role and I will share each of these cases with you, as I believe it may help you see areas in yourself in need of some correction. So, when I was attending a small church in Odessa, we had a charismatic couple come in both in arts and worship. I was drawn to the sweet and gentle ways of the woman and soon joined in as part of the worship team. I shared with her how I saw her as a Spiritual mother. The reaction was one of discomfort and yet acknowledged. I wasn't sure what I was expecting from her, but I was disillusioned. As time went on they both left the church due to the belief that God had led them to make that decision. The only reason I share this is for those that may find themselves looking to a spiritual mother and being hurt by the lack of t...

As I am writing this post, I have the hardest time being able to articulate exactly which betrayal I should address. You see my life has been a series of these happenings and not for the call of party hats and streamers that scream out "Come join me, let's cry this out together!", but for the mere sense of stating the facts. With all I have been through it seems to me that I had to ask myself what it was that was making this a recurring theme in my life? The answer was one I still have a difficult time trying to balance and keep healthy. I am emotional and with that driving my many decisions, well let's just say, it can lead to some dark roads. So after that admission, I can go into the spectacles of my life's journey and see where I was missing the whole picture. When a person is driven by their emotions, now whether these be good or bad, the limitations rise on logic. Imagine the rose colored pictures of a marriage and time when you believed this was the dream ...